Almost all of us struggle with comparing ourselves to others.

It’s a natural byproduct of being human. We’ve evolved to be social creatures who tend to look critically at ourselves in comparison to others to see where we stand.

The problem is, sometimes we do it wayyyy too much. And it doesn’t feel good.

If you have a tendency to compare yourselves to others in a way that makes you feel worse about yourself, here are some tips to help you do it less.

How can I stop comparing myself to others?

1. Stop using social media (or use it much less).

When I stopped using social media, one of the most eye-opening changes was that I started comparing myself to others much less.

Something about not being constantly inundated by other people’s lives made it so much easier to not care so much about how I stood in relation to others.

Obviously, because I see fewer updates from friends and acquaintances, I simply have less to compare to. But just like any habit, because I’ve stopped comparing myself as much, it just gets easier and easier not to do.

And listen, you know logically that social media represents the best of everyone’s days and lives, and it’s not “real” in that way. 

But your brain isn’t so logical. It will still compare those perfect photos to your worst days, and you will end up feeling worse about yourself.

If you feel like social media leads you to compare yourself negatively, take a break from it. See the difference it makes.

2. Choose to be you.

Ask yourself if you’d really like to be that other person you’re comparing yourself to. Imagine if you’d have to accept all her challenges, trials, weaknesses, insecurities, and drama.

For most of us, we’d rather stick with our own lives, because, well, they’re ours. 

Own your past, your mistakes, your everything. It’s yours. Choose to accept what it means to be you.

3. Turn your scarcity mindset into an abundant mindset.

When you compare yourself with others and feel jealous, it’s usually because you have a scarcity mindset.

A scarcity mindset means that you believe that every time someone else gets something, there’s less of it for you to get. 

So, if you see someone achieve financial success, you believe, subconsciously or not, that they’re taking it away from you.

As you can probably see, this is a false belief. It’s completely not true! 

Try cultivating an abundance mindset. Believe that there is infinite financial success, happiness, and love to go around. 

4. Embrace your main character syndrome.

We all have moments (maybe they happen all the time) where we tend to view ourselves as the “main character” in our lives and view other people’s lives as secondary. 

Now, don’t go overboard with this – I don’t believe that anyone is better or more important than anyone else. 

I just mean that YOU are the creator of your own life.

Try this. Embrace your main character syndrome. When you see others’ achievements and are tempted to compare yourself, tell yourself, “This is for me.” 

Here’s what I mean by that. Let’s say you see photos of someone’s amazing adventures in Portugal, and you wish you could do something like that. 

Using the “This is for me” trick means believing that you were meant to see those photos because they reawaken in you a desire to work towards your dreams of traveling the world (or they direct you to start working on that in the first place).

In this case, the comparison doesn’t discourage you! It makes you even more excited and sure that you’ll reach your dreams.

Here’s a slightly different example: You see a post about a former classmate’s impressive rise to the top of his law firm, and you feel underachieved and non-prestigious in comparison. 

Maybe in this case, you don’t actually wish you were in this person’s shoes because you’re not interested in being a lawyer, but you still can’t help but compare yourself. 

This time, embracing the “This is for me” mindset means believing that you were meant to see that post because it reminds you what you already know about your journey in life – for instance, that you don’t want to be a lawyer, and you’re working on something else.

Essentially, using this trick either affirms what you know about your journey in life and inspires you to keep going, or it redirects you to something that you do actually want.

5. Think, “That’s perfect for them.”

I LOVE this sentence, and something about using it has really been a game-changer for me.

When you hear about your friend’s successful small business and are tempted to wish you had a business too, think about their life circumstances and say to yourself, “That’s perfect for them.”

Carly from work bought a new house? “That’s perfect for her!”

Your cousin Scott wrote a book? “That’s perfect for him!”

A kind thought like that will encourage positivity; plus, it just feels true, doesn’t it? 

Carly’s new house is perfect for her. Scott’s completed book is perfect for him.

It doesn’t mean that something like that wouldn’t be perfect for you too! If and when it does come to you, that will be perfect too. 

Conclusion

Like any habit, comparing yourself to others is something that will take time and practice to get control of. 

To be honest, you might never stop completely comparing yourself to others (remember, it’s a natural part of being human).

But if you follow the steps in this article, you’ll compare yourself to others less – plus, it will feel a lot better, because you won’t be doing it in a negative way.

Give these tips a try and see how much better you feel about yourself!

Best of luck!