Girl, it’s time.
Time to break up with your phone.
You’re a pretty cute couple, I guess, but haven’t you noticed that you’ve become… different when you’re together?
It’s like, you can’t keep your hands off each other, and it’s not very polite when someone else is trying to have a conversation with you.
Plus, don’t you think it’s a little worrisome that your phone insists on going with you everywhere, demands your attention constantly, and keeps you from doing your work?
And have you noticed that when you spend a lot of time with your phone, you feel… bad about yourself?
Maybe it’s time to have the dreaded “we need to talk” conversation… with your phone.
Why you should break up with your phone
Okay, but seriously.
Imagine having a boyfriend that acted like your phone – I’m talking interfering with your work, preventing you from practicing your hobbies, always pointing out how other people are more attractive and interesting than you (*cough* social media *cough*)…
Do you think you would break up with him?
I would hope so! At the very least, you’d have a serious conversation with him about things that needed to change, and you would make sure that you set up proper boundaries to protect yourself.
I didn’t make up this idea of breaking up with your phone, by the way. This is Catherine Price’s work, in her book “How to Break Up With Your Phone.”
She realized that her relationship with her phone wasn’t so healthy, and she set out to do something about it. In her book, she teaches how you can do something about your relationship with your phone too.
The first step of a phone breakup: Wake up and smell the BS.
The first thing you need to do is “wake up” and realize why something needs to change. The truth is, phones are designed to addict us, and they’re messing with our brains by destroying our attention spans and hurting our ability to remember things. (Check out the book to read more about this!)
Plus they’re linked with stress, depression, anxiety, and poor sleep.
Sounds like an unhealthy relationship to me!
Now, you might be in denial. It’s common. (Have you ever had a friend that just refused to see why her boyfriend was wrong for her? Have you ever been in that situation?)
Take stock of your situation. Start keeping a journal of how often you use your phone and how you feel after using it for an extended amount of time.
You may see that there are some things in your relationship with your phone that aren’t so healthy.
The second step of a phone breakup: Let’s make some changes.
The truth is, you may not choose to “break up” with your phone entirely. It might be more accurate to call Catherine Price’s system “relationship evaluation and therapy, with a trial separation thrown in.”
The goal is not to say goodbye to your phone forever, but to make changes in your life so that you’ve got a better relationship.
Here are a few of my favorite changes you can make:
Start doing WWW (short for What For, Why Now, and What Else).
Every time you catch yourself reaching for your phone, ask yourself what you’re going to use it for, why now instead of later, and what else you could be doing.
I love this! It reminds me of choosing an intention statement. I think both exercises would work great when you’re trying to use your phone more mindfully.
Turn off all unnecessary notifications – including email. If you’re worried about missing a message from someone important, like your boss, you can set up a list of “Important” people, and then tell your phone to only notify you if one of those people emails you.
Similarly, if you don’t want to be disturbed by calls but want to be available in case of an emergency, you can do a similar thing by putting your important contacts into “Favorites,” then turn on Do Not Disturb mode. Then, put the Allow Calls From feature to “Favorites.”
Delete all the apps on your phone that you don’t actually use. You can always redownload them later. (I have to continually do this, and it’s about time. My home screen is looking a little cluttered!)
The third step of a phone breakup: A trial separation.
This is your sign to take some time off and focus on YOU.
Seriously, try it. Spend a weekend with your phone OFF and PUT AWAY. Does that sound crazy? Scary? Impossible?
It’s not, I promise.
Let people know (if necessary) that you’ll be away from your phone for that weekend. Plan some fun things that you love away from your phone. Spend some time in nature.
This weekend can be absolutely life-changing if you try it.
The fourth stage of a phone breakup: Making up again.
Good news! Unlike that loser ex-boyfriend, it is possible for you and your phone to have a happily ever after together.
But this time, you’re setting up some boundaries.
Make some goals about how you want to use your phone.
And make some rules for your relationship.
Here are some ideas for phone boundaries you could set:
- No using my phone in bed.
- Only use social media in 10-minute intervals.
- No social media apps.
- Only get on Instagram once a week.
- No checking email before noon.
Personally, my boundaries with my phone include not using social media, charging my phone away from my bed, and setting an intention before I pick it up, among other things.
The boundaries you choose should be personal to you, because what’s right for me may not be right for you.
Conclusion
Like all relationships, your relationship with your phone takes work. You’ll probably need to continually take time to assess if you like the way you’re using your phone, and if you want to make any changes.
It’s definitely a process.
But if you’re feeling like your phone is bringing you down and taking up too much of your life, TAKE ACTION.
Remember, you wouldn’t let a significant other treat you that way. Don’t let your relationship with your phone be that way.
You can reclaim so much time, mental energy, and self-esteem by “breaking up” with your phone.
P.S. I highly recommend Catherine Price’s book “How to Break Up With Your Phone.” The book lays out a 30-day system with specific steps to do every day to transform your relationship with your phone.
P.P.S. If you’re serious about breaking up with your phone, check out my course, Take Control of Your Phone. It’ll help you take control of your phone use as soon as you put the steps into practice – as soon as tomorrow!
Best of luck!
