Do you struggle with feeling jealous of others?
Maybe it’s triggered by seeing someone else’s quick success after they launched their podcast, or their picture-perfect relationship, or their impossible-to-achieve glowy skin, or their brand new penthouse apartment, or…
I could go on and on.
Jealousy is an emotion I’ve struggled with a lot in the past.
It’s human nature to feel jealous at times. It’s a side effect of being social creatures that evolved to survive in groups.
First of all, remember that experiencing jealousy doesn’t make you a terrible person.
However, if being jealous doesn’t feel good to you and it’s something you want to feel less, you can overcome jealousy.
In this article, you’ll learn how to recognize the false thoughts that are causing you to feel jealous, and how you can replace those thoughts with more positive, more inspiring, and more true thoughts.
When you learn to do this, seeing someone’s success or happiness, instead of making you jealous, will fill you with love, excitement, and inspiration.
Ready? Let’s dive in.
How can I stop being jealous of others?
Our emotions come from the thoughts we have. Jealousy usually arises from a thought you’re having that probably isn’t true.
We think false thoughts all the time – “I’m never going to be good enough,” “If I just had a bigger house, I’d be happier,” “I’m the most awkward person in the world,” etc.
When you recognize that your negative belief isn’t even true, and you replace it with a positive one that is true, your jealousy will be replaced by a happier emotion.
I’ve identified 3 of the most common reasons people feel jealous, and the false thought that goes along with it. Ask yourself honestly if you’ve been subconsciously holding onto one of these habits or beliefs.
You might be jealous because…
You have a scarcity mindset – “If they have something, that means I can’t have it.”
Too often, we think that life is a zero-sum game, meaning that there is a limited amount of “prizes” in the world. That means that if someone else gets a prize, I don’t get it.
That is just not true! The pursuit of a happy, noble, wonderful, exciting, inspiring life is never a zero-sum game. I truly believe that we can all achieve that.
Even things that we assume are limited in number aren’t truly limited. For example, you may feel jealous that you didn’t win first prize in the pottery contest, but really, you’re not jealous of that trophy. You’re jealous of what that trophy represents.
Maybe to you, that first-place trophy represents happiness. Or recognition. Or pride in one’s self.
And those things aren’t zero-sum prizes. You can feel those emotions whether you got first prize or last prize.
(To be clear, it’s completely fine to feel the disappointment of losing out on something you worked hard for. But to think “They won, so I can’t win too” is completely false.)
Embrace these thoughts instead:
“There is more than enough for everyone.”
“The world is better when more people win.” (This is my favorite one. Scroll down to see my thoughts about embracing this belief.)
“I celebrate others’ achievements, knowing my time is coming too.”
“Their success is an inspiration to me, not a threat.”
“There is plenty of love, opportunity, and success for everyone, including me.”
“Success is not a competition. We can all thrive together.”
You might be jealous because…
You’re not working towards what you want to be working towards. – “My life sucks compared to theirs.”
If you experience jealousy, it may be because there’s a part of you that knows you’re not living up to your full potential.
For instance, when you feel jealous of that influencer entrepreneur who’s earning 7-figures working from home, sometimes that’s your heart’s way of telling you that you should be starting the business you’ve dreamed of.
Instead of turning that signal into a negative emotion, you can turn that on its head and use it to inspire you to change your life and start to work towards your dreams.
Embrace these thoughts instead:
“It’s time I refocused on my dreams. I’m going to make a plan to reach my goals, starting today.”
“Today I take the first step to making my dreams come true.”
“Now is the perfect time to begin pursuing my passions.”
“Starting today, I’m committed to making my dreams a reality.”
“My dream life is within reach, and I am ready to work towards getting it every day.”
“I have the power to make my dreams happen, and I am ready to begin.”
“I am not waiting for the perfect moment; I am creating it right now.”
You might be jealous because…
You don’t believe in yourself. – “I’ll never be able to do what they do.”
Imagine that you watch a young toddler take their very first steps. What an amazing achievement! Their toothless smile is bright and beaming.
Do you feel jealous of that toddler?
I’m going to guess that you probably don’t.
We feel jealous over things we haven’t done yet, that we want to do, that we don’t believe we can do easily or soon.
You wouldn’t feel jealous of a stumbling toddler because first of all, who could be jealous of an adorable baby, and second of all, you already know that you can walk too.
But if you hear of a high school friend that opened up her own art studio, and you’ve always wanted to do that but you’re not nearly as talented as she is… that’s when the jealous feeling might creep in.
You need to believe in yourself, my friend! Remember that there was a time when you were a helpless toddler, and even though you fell over and over in the process, you learned to walk.
Embrace these thoughts instead:
“I can do it too.” (So simple, but powerful.)
“Everyone starts somewhere, and I’m in the perfect place to begin.”
“I have my own unique strengths that will help me to get where I want to go.”
“It’s okay to be a beginner. I’ll get better with time and effort.”
“I can achieve anything I set my mind to, at my own pace.”
“What others have accomplished shows me what’s possible. If they can do it, so can I!”
My favorite tip to overcome jealousy:
When you’ve learned to shift your mindset when it comes to others’ accomplishments and successes, don’t forget this principle:
Believe that the world is happier with all of us happier.
Even when I’m at my most petty (and believe me, I can get there sometimes), I believe deep down that the more happiness there is in the world, the more likely it is that I will be able to experience some of it myself.
I want to live in a world where most people are happy.
I want to live in a world where most people are successful.
I want to live in a world where most people are living their dreams.
That just seems like a better place to live in. So even if it’s for selfish reasons, I truly believe that a world like that will make it easier for me to be successful and happy.
So, when I see people who are experiencing success and happiness, that makes me happy. Because I believe that overall, it makes the world a better place.
Conclusion
So, what do you choose to be? Jealous or inspired? The choice is truly yours.
Remember:
There is enough love and success in this world for everyone.
It’s time for you to start going for your dreams.
You can do it.
Best of luck!
Before You Go…
Want to learn more ways to overcome jealousy and embrace being you? Check out my article, 5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
